Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
