Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
