The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
