i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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