I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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