i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
