Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
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