I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
