my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
