I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
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