I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
