I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
