Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
