she was so not down for the gang bang
Duck Duck Cougar?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
