oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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