Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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