wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
