i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
you will always have a special place in my vag
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
