Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
