do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
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