Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
