So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
