hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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