My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Drake has all the answers
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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