Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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