Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
