State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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