i jhust puked up my retainher.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
