please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize