return my video game
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
