I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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