how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
