there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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