sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
