I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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