we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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