In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
