and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
organizing the empties. That sober.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
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I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
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My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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