best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
