Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
