when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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