I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
he shaved USA in his pubs
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
