She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize