I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
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