Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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