I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
