it's not cheating when I paid for it
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
