you turned your livingroom into a bong?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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