Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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