My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now