They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers