Your favorite bartender is back from prision
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches