Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
