easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
