Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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