So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
