im having a threesome with these popsicles
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Why is your signature on my underwear?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
