you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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