If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
