every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize