I am full of burrito and curiosity
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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