Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Randomize
