my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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