Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
