I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
